"Love him and let him love you. Do you think anything else under heaven really matters? “This is by far one of my favorite quotes from James Baldwin. It's been the through-line of my week thus far, that along with "Stay Down" the Mary J. Blige joint. This week, starting last Friday, has proved to be so many things. It seems like me and homie lover friend get closer and closer day by day. The average on looker would have no question that the two of us are partnered. However I have these huge moments of where uncertainty creeps in. I am very intimately involved in all aspects of his life. At this point I am working on a business project with along with him. This has meant for me, meetings with investors, researching real estate and working with consultants on the project. He wants me to take an active role in all aspects and maybe leave my current position at some point. This would ideally be great. This is what you want to do with your partner, but because he is not, I am really nervous and scared. He's currently working on his PHD, I understand his stress level and would love to work full time while he focuses on school, but I feel like I have to have a boundary.
The problem is that my love for him has no bounds, yet the manifestation of it can't fully be actualized as the situation currently exists. How foolish would I feel having done all of these things together and he ends up sharing those things with someone else? I have to safeguard myself, right? The other night we got into a bit of an argument and he said that maybe we shouldn't do this. That maybe we should not be in each other's life at all. I cried (an ugly Oprah cry). He cried. We ended up back at the same place, but even more emotionally open having taken this moment of raw emotion as a conduit for love making. I walked home with the taste of him on my lips more confused that ever. I asked myself if one could really fight for something when there's really not any opposition, only their shadow. I am not doing anything wrong so why am I fighting and who am I fighting.
I am giving myself through the weekend to really access what it is I want and need. I know that it's going to hurt to walk away, but I may have to. I don't want to pretend. I want everyone to know that he's it. I hit the jackpot. That he's all mine. You can have it all.
9 comments:
A beautiful post. God only knows how much I know about how you feel.
Doing business together and trying to form a relationship are a difficult duo. I'm battling the same thing. So I chose to work on the relationship 1st.
man that is the shits.
first i have to comment on how eloquent and with such depth you translated your feelings into these words for us to read.
second i have to say i LOVE that baldwin quote. we most definitely have a love for mr. baldwin in common.
now, man you have to do and find what is best for you. i am hoping that you will no longer hurt over this. sometimes walking away, no matter the momentary pain, is what is best, but maybe you're supposed to stay. i can't speak for you or your situation, only you can, but i hope with your decision you will find solace and peace.
take care man. take care of self.
love self!
love your self enough man.
love self. thats my advice.
and then you'll know.
Just wanted to say thanks to therapist Oniha OF THE winexbackspell@gmail.com soooooooooo much for the amazing spell of making up with getting back together. a day before yesterday the
13 of January was that all important First Date and it was absolutely fantastic… i just had an email from her saying what a great time she had and how she can’t believe how cool it was to be together again,now I am so much stronger and happier. but I can’t believe how well life is going only 3 weeks after I felt like I was half dead. Thank you so much therapist Oniha for getting us together again.
I am Mrs Samantha, Truthfully i was tested HIV + positive last 3years. I keep on managing the drugs i usually purchase from the health care agency to keep me healthy and strengthen, i tried all i can too make this disease leave me alone, but unfortunately, it keep on eating up my life, this is what i caused myself for allowing my fiance make sex to me unsecured without protection, although i never knew he is HIV positive. So last few 4days i came in contact with a lively article on the internet on how this powerful spell caster get her well and healed. So as a patient i knew this will took my life 1 day, and i need to live with other friends and relatives too. So i copied out the Dr Kuq ya the spell caster email address: great.spellcaster@yahoo.com, and I mailed him immediately. In a little while he mail me back that i was welcome to his temple home were-by all what i seek for are granted. I was please at that time. And i continue with him, he took some few details from me and told me that he shall get back to me as soon as he is through with my work after sending him money to get the materials needed to get the spell casted without asking for his own money that will be doing the work. I did all he asked me to do and i was very happy that he promised that i will be cured of my HIV after this spell has been casted as said by the oracle. So Yesterday, as i was just coming from my friends house, Dr Kuq ya called me to go for checkup in the hospital and see his marvelous work that it is now HIV negative, i was very glad to hear that from him, so i quickly rush down to the nearest hospital to found out, only to hear from my hospital doctor called James Ron that i am now HIV negative. I jump up at him with the test note, he ask me how does it happen and i recide to him all i went through with Dr Kuq ya. I am now glad, so i am a gentle type of person that need to share this testimonies to everyone who seek for healing, because once you get calm and quiet, so the disease get to finish your life off. So i will advice you contact him today for your healing at the following email: great.spellcaster@yahoo.com .
Good day.
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always get to see a lot of comment and article about this particular spell caster Kuq ya i mean his name is in every web site and blog that talks about how to mend a broken relationship and he his a spell caster there are lot and lot of testimony about him on the internet on how he saved a lot of broken relationship and help people get together with the once they love and a lot of other things about relationship and to crown it all he doesn't even ask that he should be paid for his services that was rendered all he ask for is for you to provide the material that he going to use to cast the spell and for you to believe cos at the end of it all our believe have a a great roll to play. I am, i think i will say i am the skeptical person on earth when it comes to all this spell stuff. I mean i believe in science cos all it facts has being proven to be true but when it comes to all this spell story i promise you it so hard to even think that this kind thing can happen.But even so you can't believe all this things when you have never tried it before and don't even know if you will be wasting your time on this kind of thing. I was faced with this kind of situation because i made a lot of wrong choices in my relationship which i am not so proud of and all my action cost me a lot in my relationship i mean it tore my relationship with the man i love and with all those article online about Kuq ya spells i was in a state of confusion. I knew there was still life in our relationship but my husband was to heart broken to want to try and fix our problem he felt betrayed by me and my actions. I knew that if i didn't do anything to try and fix this or make him see i am sorry this love will turn into hate and i will loss everything forever because as day went by he became cold toward me. It will be so easy to say he did not deserve to be with a person like me but deep down i loved him and what i did will always hunt me for the rest of my life. I was not sure of how i was going to get him to see as this angle just as how it use to be and i know after all i did it will be fair for him to see me as trash but still i regret all i did. I don't know but i became desperate and i contact this Kuq ya to seek help. I know what most reader are thinking, that this is another spam article. I once thought the same any time i came across article like this but after my experience with Kuq ya it will be fair for me to say he is a real spell caster. You may also think that using a spell on the one you love is like making him act against his own will but if it appears to be so Kuq ya will not do the spell because he only does spell when he have seen and know that you too belong together. In my case it was so my man really loved me. Kuq ya did a spell to make him see me as he use to the spell made him love me even more. And you know just as all other person said he didn't even ask for money from me all he asked was for me to get some items and send them over to him but because i am a working class woman who doesn't have the time to look for rear materials i sent him the money to get the things and cast the spell. When my husband walked in the house and just held me tight choking me in the process i remember his heart was running fast and he just kissed me so passionately i knew that whatever Kuq ya did, It worked and it was so strong. What more can i ask from them my man holding me in his arm and happy that i am in his arm. I will live his email address for those who may feel they need his help no saying you are going to need his help but still if you want to contact him use this email { great.spellcaster@yahoo.com } he does not have a website tell everyone about him is all he asked me for. Amber
I want to say thank you to Dr Kuq Ya, for everything so far. To everyone who doesn’t believe in spell, I was one of those ones at first. I wasn’t quite sure if I wanted to do this since I’ve tried others so-called spells casters and they did not work and was a waste of my time and money. However, when I read through the testimonials of other people at this website and after I talked to Dr Kuq Ya, who answered all my questions and was very nice about everything, I decided to give it a try. I figured it would be my last try to get my guy back. So my story is that I was at my office when the guy I am in love with told me that he wasn’t in love with me and never will he be and that he didn’t want to speak or see me again, especially since he was talking to this other girl. When I talked to Dr Kuq Ya,He let me know which spells would be most appropriate for me to use in this case and I chose the ones that was to get him back to me and stay with me and want to marry me.As soon as he started on the spells, my guy came back into my life! It was a miracle to me and I’m so thankful for that. Things have been going well, and pretty much according to what Dr Kuq Ya said it will happen. He’s always there when you need him and that’s also after the spell is done. But with all that has happened so far I’m very happy because given only four weeks ago, if you asked me or my friends if I would have anticipated how things were right no..No one would believe it! My name is Karen. contact his email address: great.spellcaster@yahoo.com I want to say thank you to Dr Kuq Ya for everything so far.
Me and my boy friend was been separated for a long period of time, I came across different spell casters and they were all unable to bring back my lover. I was so sad and almost gave up on him, when i met a spell caster called Dr.Grant, who helped me get my lover back. Ever since then i have been so happy and couldnt believe it would happen. He also helped me with success spell, I have been living happily with my lover now and will be getting married soon. Here is his email address grantingheartdesiresspell@gmail.com to contact him if you need his help
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