Okay… I don’t like to get too personal on here… but… I just need to write this out… I feel like my life has gotten exceedingly complicated as of late at no fault of my own. So I've been dating this guy since November - my homie-lover-friend. He's great. He's smart. He's funny. He has great friends. He's mature. He's a great communicator. And he's beautiful. I've met his sister and spent Mother's Day with him and his mother. She's from the South, so we connect on so many levels about things he just doesn't get. The issue is that he has a boyfriend that lives out of state. I knew this going into the situation - but I didn't give it much thought - I was dating - we would cross that bridge once we reached it. Needless to say, we have arrived at the bridge. I think that I may really be falling in love with him. That's huge for me. He thinks that I'm not emotionally vested in our "situation" which is partly true, as I am afraid to completely emotionally vulnerable with someone that's not 100% available to me. One of my friends chastises me for even being in this situation, while another feels that I should go with my raw emotion and stop having to be in control. In part, I think that because we are men in a traditional sense, it's hard for either of us to relinquish that. He thinks that I should cook and be in his face every minute. Yet, my vantage point is that my career, getting a JD, community service and my social calendar are important - and sitting around making meatloaf and mashed potatoes isn't what I need to be doing right now. Do I just submit? What should I do?
So to complicate all of this, an ex turned friend is spending a few weeks with me, as he has taken a summer position here in New York. A few weeks are actually six. I let my homie-lover friend know - I left out the part that it's an ex - and he wasn't happy about the amount of time I would have this young man in my space. The ex and I have a long past and both of our emotions run deep. We made a pact to get married at 30 if we were both single. I don't want to turn to him out of some kind of need, but I feel it may be possible. How do I avoid this from happening?
So to complicate all of this, an ex turned friend is spending a few weeks with me, as he has taken a summer position here in New York. A few weeks are actually six. I let my homie-lover friend know - I left out the part that it's an ex - and he wasn't happy about the amount of time I would have this young man in my space. The ex and I have a long past and both of our emotions run deep. We made a pact to get married at 30 if we were both single. I don't want to turn to him out of some kind of need, but I feel it may be possible. How do I avoid this from happening?
2 comments:
Oh what a tanged web you have here. whew! The guy with the dude...I don't think so! You're catching feelings and he's with someone else. This is not good! Also, who does he think he is? He can't complain about anything you do. He has someone. You can have someone laying, staying, and whatever else you want all up in your space.
This is indeed a pretty complicated situation. This guy has someone and you are still "dating" him? Ok..I won't go there but geesh!(Well not all the way there)
As far as the ex coming up, I think that if you were to get involved with him again in any way, it could add more complications as far as your emotions but the lesser of the two evils is that it could allow you to possibly get out of the situation with 'ole boy who "has someone".
I don't know E, that's hard but then again...use my advice with caution...there have been some major defects that are being corrected.
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