Wednesday, November 26, 2008

My Real Life Noah's Arc Episode

Like so many of us, I went out to support the Noah’s Arc movie. Although I have always looked at the show from a very critical vantage point, I still felt some obligation to go out and support. I can’t really say that I thought it was all that great of a movie as I found there to be a number of things that I saw flawed in the film. Many folks love the series and the movies because they say they see themselves in the characters – I for one have never felt that way. So it strikes me as odd that my life at the moment feels like an edited scene from Noah’s Arc.

So after me and my homie lover friend ended whatever it was we had, we decided to be friends. When he broke up with his boyfriend I was there to lend a shoulder and a hand. I would be a liar if I said the possibility of us being in a relationship didn't pop up in my head from time to time. Yet, I had met someone great that I was/am getting to know and he needed time to deal with ending a four year relationship. We would joke about him dating and so on, but it was all in jest and neither of us were really seeing anyone seriously at the moment. Last week we spoke and he was telling me about a guy that he was kind of interested in. I told him he should try it out. Though I found out last night that they been out on a date before he decided to bring him up to me. So today he invited me to have dinner with him and the guy. I feel like shit. Because out of know where all these feelings have come flooding in. Now the question is why wasn't I good enough? I am jealous. I am envious. I am hurt. I feel unwanted, undesired and relegated on to the ranks of a friend not good enough to exist with.

I'm trying to figure out what this all means. Am I in love with this Negro? Damn. I definitely need to work through my emotions. I think that I'm going to go to dinner. Look amazing. Bake a wonderful desert. Be my charming smart self and keep it moving. Let's pray that I don't fall to pieces, cry, cuss anybody out or fight.

At the end of the movie Ricky reveals to Noah that he loves him and he can't understand why Noah can't love him the way that he loves Wade. The resolution - Noah and Wade get married and everyone is happy. Only tomorrow will tell how this one all pans out.

1 comment:

Gary T. P. said...

Wade isn't a scorpio ( we think
) but you are...dont go to that dinner...u know he's asked you only to find out ur input in relation to him...its too soon...if u do go...bring ur own date...this is not something u can do alone...